I'm Drained

I haven't posted here in a long time. I've retreated to the comfort of my moleskine for expression of emotions. I am drained emotionally right now. News came today that they have taken my Grandma off her meds and are just making her comfortable. What must be running through her head? I can't even begin to understand the thought process of someone who fully understands that the last few days of their life will be spent in a hospital bed. That scares me... My gran is over 70, so she has led a long life. Yet, it reinforces my fear of dying. I hate facing my mortality; I'm afraid that one day I will wake up unable to do the things I love and enjoy. Traveling for instance. Some say its crazy that I spend so much time, money and energy on travel, but I say "God gave us this earth, I want to see it!" I'm not saying that everyone has to travel, I'm just saying find something that fulfills your life. For me, it is soaking up the beauty of God's creation with the people I love. Others it may be listening to music and reading books. Maybe it's spending that quite afternoon in the arms of the man/woman you love. Whatever it is, enjoy it. Life is too short to be consumed by the rat race.... even if you live to 100.

Manic Monday

Today was cold. Well relatively cold. Last week it was in the 70s now it was in the 40s. You just have to love Ohio weather.

So, I ordered On One's Phototools Professional Ed. on Friday, it got to Columbus Saturday morning and instead of it getting here today it just sat there and won't be delivered until tomorrow. What a joke. It was 40 minutes away and I had to wait 3 extra days to use it? oh well.

I have really been getting into OSP lately, although my registration has been finalized yet? I don't know why I signed up a week ago...

I want to buy a monitor calibration tool, but I don't have the cash. So if you have a spyder 2 or huey pro that you aren't using you can send it my way!

xPeacex

I never really know what to write here, whether or not my honesty will ward off any potential clients. I just feel like people need to see the real me which is rarely seen in person, especially if you are new to me :) I've been reading a lot of blogs and forums with photography lately, and I feel so motivated for the summer. I will be taking a lot of pictures for the salvation army, and I can't wait for the chance to bring my "A" game. Camp photos are not known for being artsy, but we are going to try something new with that. I think I've become addicted to spending money on starting up a viable photography business. Its such a competitive venture that I don't know if I'm wasting my time or not, but I feel as though this is what I'm supposed to be doing for the time being.

Cheers.

New Design

Its been awhile since I've posted. Life has been pretty crazy. I am in the middle of working on a new design. Hopefully, with the help of a very talented graphic designer I will have a nice new logo. I will be posting pictures from time to time on here as well. I am trying to build my portfolio so if you want some portraits done and you're in the central Ohio area, drop me a line. I would love to work with you.

I will leave you with a shot from a shoot I did at my grandparent's farm. They have a lot of old machinery and sitting in there is this old Dodge pickup.

Humor (Humour for those who waste lettters)

I was watching on program on the History channel last night about the history of “the joke,” hosted by my favorite comedian Lewis Black. It chronicled the history of the rise of comedy (obviously) but it also made some social observations that I found fascinating. One of the most interesting was that women are statistically shown to be perceived as less funny than men. Now this statement doesn’t reflect my personal beliefs, but it did spark some curiosity. They talked to several big time female comics some of them took the position that they are funny, but others agreed that men were funnier. What does this say about our society? Are we sexists? Do we relate better with one gender over the other or are there other factors in play? Or as one female comic observed, could it be as simple that the vast majority of women don’t want to make the necessary sacrifices to make it as a big time comedian? Personally I think there are some very funny women, Chonda Pierce is by far my favorite.
Anyway, this is a theme I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. What does it mean to be able to laugh at yourself? I think that a lot of Americans (and frankly people in general) have lost all ability to look at themselves and see that the absurd things we do are really funny! If you are unable to laugh at yourself then what does that say about your character? I personally think that it shows that you are too insecure about yourself. Now, being an overweight kid, I could take every fat joke that has ever been told, take it personally and build up hatred and anger, or I can chose to laugh and say “oh, you know I do do that and it is funny.” I’m not talking about reducing your self image, but recognizing that we all have eccentric behaviors. Learning to love and embrace those differences bonds us as people. Culturally there are things we do differently. Why is it that all Brits are portrayed as being evil tea drinkers with posh accents? Why are all Americans are thought to be fat and stupid? Why is it that we all think that the Japanese carry around a million cameras taking pictures of everything they see? What I’m saying is that you can’t take life too seriously or you’ll never get out alive. I think there is a reason that laughing is so therapeutic. Its one of the few things that separate us from being hairless chimps!

I know that this has been a completely random topic especially with all that is happening in the world, but something was said in that special that I find absolutely true. When you laugh, I mean really bust a gut laugh, you are stripping away everything and revealing who you truly are. You are leaving all the facades behind. Its the same way with crying. We experience a wide range of emotions capped with the two extremes. My advice, find the people you can share both with. People who make you laugh until milk comes out of your nose, and those who don’t mind seeing you shed a tear.
xPeacex

Beginnings

We all have a beginning, a place where we started our journeys. A launching point for the voyage through life. For some, that means being born into the lap of luxury, while other struggle to keep their heads above the proverbial tide waters of welfare. Inevitably people are defined by their birth status. As we grow up and go through grade school and middle school we are defined by the clothes we wear, the way we talk, and which side of the tracks we live. At some point most of us get a chance to start over with a clean slate, whether it be the result of a move or sudden change in economic standing. We must make the most of the chances we are given. We cannot allow ourselves be defined by destiny. Meaning I am not defined by my father or his father before him, but rather we should be defined by the gravity of our own decisions and our own merits.
The picture for this entry is of The Cavern in Liverpool, England. Some may know that this is one of the first places that The Beatles began their legendary trip into rock fame. Four guys from an industrial city rise above their surroundings. They overcame the gravity of the city and its certain occupations. Liverpool itself is an interesting city. In its prime it was a ship building powerhouse. It was also the departure point of many people coming to America, searching for new starts. How mind blowing is that? Getting on a ship with all you own, setting off to a land you’ve probably never seen before in the hopes you can create a better life for yourself and your family, or the family yet to come.
In many ways this blog is a beginning. Number one. Its the start of a series. Maybe something big will come out it, but thats not the purpose. The purpose is to document my journey, and to welcome the comments and observation of others also embarking on their own journeys. Feel free to email your stories to me.
xPeacex